I am not a picky eater. It is probably an adjective (or adverb)…how about a descriptive term? – Picky is a descriptive term that has never been placed before my name…especially when it comes to food. Another word that has never been used to describe me? Grammar enthusiast.
I am the coworker eating the crust that has been carefully plucked off your pb&j…because we don’t agree on the fact that the crust is the best part. I am the coworker eating your ‘too’ ripe banana or slightly bruised apple. I am the co-worker eating the last of your funny tasting celery and peanut butter or the last few pieces of cubed cheese that no one wanted because apparently swiss cheese is ‘gross’. Gasp!
Oh heavens, I am the resident goat.
I am the roommate insisting that the milk is still okay 3 days after the date stamped on the jug…as long as it smells alright. I am the roommate eating yogurt and sour cream well beyond any sell by date…because it is just that, the sell by date…not the eat by date. Green fuzzy growth is the natural eat by date and then, only then, shall it meet its final resting place at the bottom of the trash can.
I am the friend who can not, for the life of me, pick a restaurant for any meal during the day. It is one part indecisiveness and two parts non-picky. I have never entered a restaurant and been unable to eat off their menu because nothing suited me.
I don’t mind leftovers for 2 nights. Or egg sandwiches all week. I have eaten tuna for dinner for an entire year of college, by choice- mercury levels are still pending. I would never turn down eggs if they weren’t made to my liking – because I don’t have a liking. I’ll take any piece of toast slathered with any type of jelly or pb or honey or cinnamon + sugar, or just salted butter. I just like toast. Same goes for donuts (doughnuts?). I don’t care…it is fried dough covered in something made of sugar – glazed, cake, long john, jelly – okay! Where is there room for picky?
Room for picky exists only in the sweet sweet world of desserts.
I see it as…if I am going to spend calories on a brownie or a cookie or a slice of pie…it had better be up to par and as good or better than what I can make in my own kitchen. It should be to my specifications. I want a brownie that is fudgy and chewy and well, chocolatey…I do not want a cake-like brownie that faintly tastes like chocolate was merely thought about during the baking process. If I wanted a cake like brownie I would have chosen cake … and since cake is my 5th favorite dessert, I doubt I chose cake in the first place. And speaking of cake, I am starting to prefer white to chocolate and I despise anything but a decadent thick sugary buttercream icing slathered atop it. And I prefer cheesecake to any other cake and that cheesecake should have a vanilla or chocolate cookie crust … because graham crackers don’t belong on the bottom of cakes. Pie is mainly about the buttery flakey crust and unless it is a slice of sugar cream pie, I will take fruit pie every time. Preferably, blueberry. And cookies…well, I have learned that if it is the size of my noggin, it will probably have me wishing I had opted for just the coffee.
And finally, if you are gonna take me out for ice cream…and it isn’t Dairy Queen where I will inevitably order a Blizzard with 4 different candies blended in because…I am indecisive – M&M’s, Snickers, Butterfinger, and Oreos. I will love you forever if your ice cream parlor has a hot fudge that is thick and rich and becomes almost chewy when it hits the cold chocolate ice cream. Think more marshmallow cream consistency and less Hershey syrup.
Wanna hit the bar with me? Sundae bar. And with those extra cherries…well, I have bourbon too (passtt….they aren’t these fancy ones, but they’ll do the trick!)
Get your toppings lined up. Like an army. A bit of mise en place I can get behind. Gotta keep and stay organized.
Step 4: SPRINKLES!
Step 5: With a cherry on top.
This life ain’t too shabby.
- 2/3 Cup Heavy Cream (or half and half)
- 1/2 Cup Light Corn Syrup
- 1/3 Cup Light Brown Sugar
- 1/4 Cup Cocoa Powder
- 1/4 Teaspoon Salt
- 6 Ounces Chocolate, finely chopped and divided – used a mixture of milk and bittersweet
- 2 Tablespoons Unsalted Butter
- 1 Teaspoon Pure Vanilla Extract
- In a 1 quart pan, combine heavy cream (or half and half), corn syrup, brown sugar, cocoa powder, salt, and 3 ounces of chopped chocolate. Stir to combine.
- Place over medium to moderate heat and stir mixture until chocolate melts and mixture comes to a boil.
- Decrease heat and cook mixture at a low boil for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally – about few stirs at each minute break works well.
- Remove from heat, stir in butter, vanilla, and remaining 3 ounces of chopped chocolate and stir until smooth.
- Let sauce cool until it is warm before pouring over ice cream. Store in sealed glass container in refrigerator – will keep for one week. Reheat before serving (microwave for 30 second, stir, another 30 second, stir)